Sunday, October 25, 2009


To say the least. My heart is heavy with all that has happened in the last 2 weeks with my family. I am so grateful for my support system made up by both family and friends. If it wasn't for them my heart would be buried deep in frustration. Thank you to my family and friends, I do not think I could get through any of the trials and challenges we have been faced with without your support.

I am overwhelmed with our finances. I figured out a budget for us and it turns out that with all of the medical bills we have accrued that one of us will have to get a second job, or try to any way. We figure out that one person can work weekends alone for 5 months and get all our medical bills paid off as opposed to paying our medical bills at the set up monthly payment for 3 years. It makes me sick to think we won't have weekends together as a family but, it also makes me sick to think about being strapped for money to the point of wondering how we are going to make all our bills for 3 years. Sure, I might get a teaching job before those 3 years are up, but there is no guarantee.

As a congregation my church is reading through a book called, The Whole in Our Gospel, by Richard Stearns, president of World Vision. It talks about "the least of these" and how so much of the world is poverty stricken. There are thousands upon thousands of children who die EVERY day for various reasons that directly relate to living in the depths of poverty. Most of the children could be saved easily if they could just receive adequate medical care and water. This book has a way of laying guilt on my heart for not doing enough to help "the least of these." I struggle with knowing how to help anyone else whether it be in my own community of over in some place like Africa while I struggle with how I am going to pay my own bills. I know I live a life of luxury in comparison to many others in the world. I have been racking my brain on where to cut back, or where I can find an extra $30 per month to sponsor a child, but I just don't see it. Is it a matter of just giving and having faith that God is going to provide for me and my household or is it ok to take care of my family and give at a time where it's a little easier? I just feel like some how I am being selfish. There I have another prayer goal!


Kim said...

I feel for you on the financials! I hate looking at our budget and feeling like there is never enough. And something ALWAYS comes up. Have faith that it will all work itself out, that's what I keep having to tell myself. It goes against everything in me as I just want to plan in at all out and figure out a way to make money just appear! Just know that you're not alone! Stupid economy!

Kait T said...

You go to Life Center??