Saturday, February 6, 2010

Change and Greatness

We have been faced with a HUGE change and challenge for our little family. This change could end up hurting is and costing us a LOT. What I know it WILL do because I feel like it already has is bond us together even closer as a family and closer the our Lord and Savior. Well, are you ready to find out what the change is? Ok, I will tell you. Adam, lost his job. Yup, that's right, got laid off. Surprisingly I am not mad, a little nervous about our future yes, but the Holy Spirit has given me peace about it. I am not stressed or mad at all.

Here is how it began and maybe why I am not so worked up over it. I mentioned before that Adam was working a second job and he started that last weekend. I believe that God did not intend that job to be a second job, that He knew what our future would hold in regards to Adam's primary job. So, sure we won't be able to get Adam's medical bills paid off or some money saved for my lack of income this summer but, Adam doesn't have to start from square one. He already got his pharmacy license back which was a good chunk of money and we wouldn't be able to spend that money in our current state. Also, he was already hired back at his old job and they want him full time, it's just a matter of finding the hours for him. He may have to work at multiple stores to get the full time hours but, that's fine.

The part I am nervous for is it's not a sure thing that they will have any additional hours for him because budgets had been cut. So, he can apply else where but, this economy is still crappy and he may not be able to find another job in a pharmacy. So, finding another job might be hard or take a while.

For now we are ok, I just did all our grocery shopping so we are good there. He has 3 weeks of vacation that he is on so he will get paid for a little while longer and can use his time at home figuring the job situation out and applying for unemployment.

I know that many people are in this situation and lot's of people understand and relate but it doesn't change the fact that we are in it and it is unnerving and could potentially be VERY hard. And because this is my blog I am going to expand on how hard this could potentially be. I haven't really vented to anyone so I am using this as my outlet to vent.

Ok, well, we already struggle getting our bills paid. The only extras we have is the smallest Netflix package, Adam's computer game, $10 per month cable (mostly for reception purposes), once a month latte, once a month fast food meal (shopping day lunch).

For our bills, we have our mortgage which is an astronomical amount, regular stuff that everyone has (electricity, water, garbage, phone, insurance for car and house, etc), then we have our car payment which is high. We have a warranty and GAP insurance. We could drop the GAP insurance but what would happen if we were in a wreck and totalled the car. We still owe a great deal amount on it than it's worth. So, yeah, not sure what to do there. Wouldn't life be so much easier if someone told you exactly what to do and how to do it and everything always worked out? Now, we have my student loans. I have 4 of them and no they can't be consolidated. I already filed for a financial hardship when I first had to pay them because we had just had Lily and I wasn't working. They only allow 1 financial hardship deferment so we are stuck paying them. Then we have Adam's doctor bills that we had to put some on credit cards and some finance through a bank that the hospital set up. His doctor bills are more than me having the c-section with Lily. Craziness! I would have much rather had another child than had Adam have twin kidney stones that he ended up passing on his own naturally. That about sums it up with the exception of our cable internet and groceries/gas.

So, there are some things we could cut out. All of our extras mentioned above and the GAP insurance for the car, we could reevaluate our groceries and not buy things like soda. But, most of what we pay for are a must. Things we can't get out of. We could get rid of our cable internet if we had too and texting. We don't NEED to text. Many people have survived without texting.

Sure there is unemployment but, unfortunately, that is not enough. Better than nothing for sure, but, still not enough. We have no additional income coming in with the exception of my lousy subbing income. Did I say that my last check was $200. Yeah, where is that going to get me? Oh maybe half of my student loans paid for in a month.

As for me and what I do. I am a sub. I haven't been getting many jobs. I have worked 7 times since before Christmas break. I have applied in one other district so far and they are not hiring subs. I am going to submit an application to a couple of private schools and see where that gets me. I have been asked about finding a different job that isn't subbing. That would be a very tough decision that I couldn't make lightly because in order to get a full time teaching job I need to be a sub. I need to have my foot in the door. If I quit subbing than I am prolonging my chances of getting a teaching job. So yeah, again, could someone please tell me what decision is best and make it all work out. I suppose that is what God is there for but sometimes it is really hard to hear His voice. I know He works things out but I still have to feel like I am making the right decisions.

Ok, done venting. Clearly this could be hard for us.

Maybe you are wondering what the greatness part is? Because really this doesn't sound so great at all. What is so great is Adam, my wonderful, brilliant, caring, loving, silly husband! I don't want him to feel like he failed or that he is less of a great husband/father because this is completely not his fault and I am so thankful that he has a desire to provide for us. The other part that is great is God. He is so much bigger than us and the world we live in and I have faith that He and only He will work this out, that we will be better off in the long run having been rid of his job he just lost and all the garbage that he put up with in that job. It was thankless and it was a dead end job and often times boring. He was promised a LOT of things that he never received, raises, bonuses, profit sharing type thing. We trusted the owners and if we had known they weren't trust worthy, he wouldn't have taken the job. He would have still been with his old job making more money and we wouldn't have this stress now.

Well, lastly, could you please keep us in your thoughts and prayers? I don't feel like I ask this much but, I am feeling a bit desperate now. Writing all this out kinda makes the situation a little more real. Anyway, thank you for reading and being faithful to my blog.


Kelly said...

oh Holly, my heart and prayers go out to you. With having Jim laid off for 6 months last year I know exactly how you are feeling. It is not fun what so ever! You have a great outlook on it though, put your trust in God. It's amazing how it seems horrible at the time and that there may be no end or solution in sight but everything works out the way it's supposed to. God has a plan!

what type of work does your husband do? My job is hiring and will soon be hiring even more. It's not the most exciting work and some aren't the greatest hours (4pm-midnight) but they will pay some bills.

Keep your head up and let me know if I can help in anyway, even if it's for support. Like I said we went through 6 months of it last year and can still face it this year. In the meantime enjoy your family time.

Holly said...

Thank you so much Kelly! I appreciate your support a LOT! That is why I just love blogging you know.

He was a programmer but he just got his pharmacy tech license back. He has 6 years of experience as a tech. But, I will keep that in mind in case this week of finding full time work as a pharmacy tech doesn't go so well.

Evenings would be best for him right now because then we wouldn't be paying childcare. Actually 4 pm start time would be ideal because I get off at 3:30. I will talk to him about it. Do you know what positions they will be hiring for? Maybe you could just email me if you know. Might be easier.

Thanks again!!!

the Furgason Family said...

Praying for you guys! Oh, and we can always help you save $4 by cutting out our once a month coffee, although, $4 might be worth it to get out of the house and have a little morale boost. :) Let me know, I'm fine either way!

Kim said...

Oh Holly I am so sorry! Things will work out. They have too. And you are right God does have a plan. If there is anything that I can do to help, please do not hesitate to ask! The outlook that you have on this is much very positive don't let this whole thing get you down. Keep me updated on how it's all going. And do not feel about about venting! That is one way of explaining to friends how you feel and of getting it off your chest! :)